Okay. I am officially frustrated. I have held my tongue long enough, but now, I am unleashing my anger on bloggy land, where I have friends that love me and understand! Unlike the school system!
Here's what happened: My daughter is a special needs teen and she is in the special education classrooms at school, along with other special ed teens. Apparently, one of the girls has been mad at everyone in the class, since last Friday, because there was a sub instead of the regular teacher. Don't ask me why this chick gets mad at this; I don't know. All I know is this girl has a problem with subs. So, she starts making these threatening comments that she is going to slit the sub's throat.
Here's what happened: My daughter is a special needs teen and she is in the special education classrooms at school, along with other special ed teens. Apparently, one of the girls has been mad at everyone in the class, since last Friday, because there was a sub instead of the regular teacher. Don't ask me why this chick gets mad at this; I don't know. All I know is this girl has a problem with subs. So, she starts making these threatening comments that she is going to slit the sub's throat.
Ummmm....I didn't think that you could make comments like this in school.
Anyway, the sub and the teacher aide just kind of pooh poohed the incident, because, don't you know, she is usually such a "good kid" and she was "just talking." Baloney! I would have kicked her happy fanny right out of the door and right out of the school. Good Kid my rear end! I bet that is what they all thought about other school shooters...."Oh, but they were such good kids.....
Anyway, yesterday at school, this chick was STILL MAD and just looking for a fight. So, she points to my daughter, makes the motion of dragging her finger across her throat and informs my daughter, "you're next." My daughter like freaked out! At lunch, she was still upset and talked to the vice principal. You're going to love this. He says that there isn't anything that he can do about it! WHAT!!!!!
So, I picked my daughter up after school and she is still freaking out. We went back to the school to pick up my teen son, and I told him about it. He said since this girl made a direct threat to teen daughter, that I should talk to the vice principal myself. So, I left him in the van and took daughter back into the school to talk to him.
We go into his office, and he is being all nice and cordial, and I explained that I just didn't think that this other girl's actions were appropriate and what was going to be done about it? He explained that she was on his list to talk to, but he hadn't gotten around to doing it yet. I politely asked him when was he going to get around to it? and he said that he'll address it the next school day (today). He then went on to say that this girl was normally very good (I am getting really tired of hearing this!) and that she probably didn't mean it. I said I don't care if she didn't mean it, because it was a direct threat and she should be talked to about it.
Anyway, yesterday at school, this chick was STILL MAD and just looking for a fight. So, she points to my daughter, makes the motion of dragging her finger across her throat and informs my daughter, "you're next." My daughter like freaked out! At lunch, she was still upset and talked to the vice principal. You're going to love this. He says that there isn't anything that he can do about it! WHAT!!!!!
So, I picked my daughter up after school and she is still freaking out. We went back to the school to pick up my teen son, and I told him about it. He said since this girl made a direct threat to teen daughter, that I should talk to the vice principal myself. So, I left him in the van and took daughter back into the school to talk to him.
We go into his office, and he is being all nice and cordial, and I explained that I just didn't think that this other girl's actions were appropriate and what was going to be done about it? He explained that she was on his list to talk to, but he hadn't gotten around to doing it yet. I politely asked him when was he going to get around to it? and he said that he'll address it the next school day (today). He then went on to say that this girl was normally very good (I am getting really tired of hearing this!) and that she probably didn't mean it. I said I don't care if she didn't mean it, because it was a direct threat and she should be talked to about it.
So, then he looks at my daughter and basically says that she needs to not "provoke" this chick...err...girl, and to make sure that she doesn't do anything to make this girl mad, and that he knows that this girl can be a drama queen, but then, so can my daughter, and my daughter has to make sure that she controls what she does, because she can't control what the other girl does, blah, blah, blah. Basically, he was saying that my teen daughter, somehow, just by being there, was also guilty.
I was just not very happy. That is like saying that a rape victim is guilty because she wore a certain dress, or that a murder victim is guilty because he/she happened to not lock their door. My daughter is basically guilty because she was in the room and happened to annoy the chick with her very presence.
I was just not very happy. That is like saying that a rape victim is guilty because she wore a certain dress, or that a murder victim is guilty because he/she happened to not lock their door. My daughter is basically guilty because she was in the room and happened to annoy the chick with her very presence.
Believe me, if teen daughter had said something back to this chick, you can bet your last dollar that I would have heard about it immediately. The teachers have no problem e-mailing me or calling me as soon as MY daughter does something wrong!!
What happened to consequences for your actions or being responsible for your actions? It seems that nowdays, there is this big excuse-itis movement going on, and kids are being given an "excuse card" for everything that they do. Sub in the classroom and you're mad about it? Actions Excused.....Acted out in class and made threats? Actions Excused because of "bad home life..." And, the list goes on and on and on.
Oh, btw, the vice principal did try to use the "bad home life" excuse for the above named chick. I just about blew a gasket. Along with the "good kid" phrase, I am getting really, really tired of the lame "bad home life" phrase to excuse all bad behavior. WHATEVER HAPPENED TO TEACHING PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY???!!!!!
Give me all of your thoughts on this subject....you know I welcome them!! :)
So, now that I have ranted and vented, I feel somewhat better! :)
**A.Marie**
Oh, I would be LIVID!!! What does it take for them to take action? Does this girl actually have to SLIT someone's throat??? I would start a campaign and go to the media. You would be AMAZED at how fast that one gets results. I'd call the local news channel and talk to them about violence in school and how the school district is glossing over it - and I'd let that VP KNOW that I was doing it.
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry that you are having to deal with that! Keep us posted!
I'm so sorry your daughter is going through this. Have you considered contacting the police and filing a police report? If the Vice Principal isn't taking it seriously, that may be the way to go.
ReplyDeleteOh wow! I'm so sorry you're having to go thru this! I would be so angry with that VP. So if I'm really good for a long time, then I can start making threats and getting away with it?! hmm.. good to know...
ReplyDeleteDon't you hate it when it gets all twisted around? I hate that in an argument when suddenly it has become your fault. Stick to you guns!
Hi all!! Thank you so much for your comments...it means alot to know that my bloggy friends think like I do...I was starting to think that maybe I was the crazy one!
ReplyDeleteStacey, I like your media idea; that would get their attention fast, wouldn't it?!
Lola, the police report is a great idea; I never thought about doing that. I'm anxious to see what teen daughter says about this chick after school. Believe me, the gloves are OFF! If she has said one more threatening word, I am going downtown to the Police Department.
McVal, I know, don't you love that mentality? So, I am always a good person...does that mean I can go into the school, threaten anybody, and get away with it?? Like you said, hmmm...good to know!
Thank you for being my cheerleaders when I need them!! :):) I LOVE YOU GALS!! :):)
Wow sounds like Chicago. I'm with Lola-go to the police. First go up the chain of command-VP, principal, Superintendent, etc. But be wary of leaving your daughter in that situation. Remember things that have happened have given clear warning signs people have ignored. Start keeping a notebook and DOCUMENT EVERYTHING. You'll be way ahead of those who will say oh I don't remember that. I'm not sure how your daughter is but SHE was the one who was being threatened as were others.
ReplyDeleteThere is no such thing as teaching personal responsibility in Chicago as y'all have probably seen recently. I always say we live in "North" Englewood as our nice little suburban town is turning into the wild west.
I'm with Lola and Helene--you need to file a police report NOW! Not when and if this happens....NOW. Then I would call the Principal, the school counselor, the social worker, and the Superintendent. Threats should not be taken lightly in this day and age. You must demand that it be addressed. And while you are contacting these people, make sure you hand them a copy of the police report--they will know you are serious.
ReplyDeleteImagine if this teacher or anyone else really does have her throat slit--would you ever forgive yourself for not reporting it?
Wow! That is unbelievable! In our district any type of threat, even a perceived threat, is grounds for instant dismissal to a week at the guidence center. Students spend the time there under guard and in their chair for the entire day.
ReplyDeleteThere is no leeway, whatsoever, in this policy.
Hi there Helene, Lin, and Frances! Thanks for the comments! I am still amazed at how stupid our school district is. This girl hasn't said anything now the past 2 days, and she did get moved to the back of the room, totally away from my daughter, but I am still frustrated over their lack of recognizing how serious that girl's comments were.
ReplyDeleteThere shouldn't be any leeway, whatsoever!! I am in the process of reviewing the handbook and am going to be contacting some Board Members about the loose wording concerning these type of threats. They need to take a firm stand on this issue and spell out the consequences, in black and white.
I think that our district still thinks that we are a safe and secure cutesy little country school. We aren't. We have almost 700 students at our high school and big drug problem. The days of "Little School on the Prairie" are over, dumb district. Get with the program!!
AGAIN, THANKS FOR THE COMMENTS! YOU GALS TOTALLY ROCK!! :)
I really don't understand the VP reaction to this I thought there was a zero tolerance policy for bullying in schools now. I find I have the best luck in speaking with the school counselor. She really helped a lot when we were having an issue with a boy on our street bullying my daughter all the way home off the bus - calling her names, asking if she was wearing a thong (at age 8!), stepping on the backs of her shoes. The counselor set them both down and had my daughter explain to him what he was doing was scaring her and upsetting her. The counselor said he actually got tears in his eyes and took her hand and said he was sorry! You just never know!
ReplyDeleteThis kid has been very sweet to her ever since!